I wanna be a teacher.

So I wanna be a teacher.

NO, that does not mean I'm giving up my hopes on becoming a full-time writer.  I WILL BE ONE DAY YOU WILL SEE YOU WILL AAALLL SEEEEEEE. But hey, not all writers are successful (over-night). And also, it's only a few more years (one and half, to be exact) until I graduate from high school, and my ultimate goal right now is to write a book while I'm still in school. So when I'm a teacher, I'm technically in school right?

Genius.

 But hey, there's still college, right? That's school, too! Yes. But I don't count it. :P College is like mixture of school and work (sorry if I'm wrong, I have no idea what college feels like except from what I heard from a couple of people, and they say it's piles and piles and piles of homework and projects and normal work).

But I think being a teacher can be pretty cool. And yes, I've watched my teachers my whole life  get sick of my classmates, since in every school I'm transferred, my classes are always the most naughtiest class with the biggest amount of trouble-makers and bullies. Or maybe that's how all individuals in a class who are like me who feels the same way as well.

I feel really bad for my teachers. I've seen a lot of them develop sickness because of us. Just last week, my favorite English teacher's voice was husky, and she couldn't speak very loudly, but during our class (English class, despite my favorite time, is the most heavily abused subject time of the day), when everyone should be having their oral interpretation done in front of the class, most of the class were chatting and laughing away loudly, taking out their cellphones and tapping away, hearing nothing of the weak cries of the woman. She grew agitated that she stormed to the nosiest group and snapped at them (I'm going to have to spare the details on what happened at this part). After that, she stormed out of the classroom.

The next day, my teacher didn't come to our class. And everyone in my class were rejoicing because there was no teacher in the subject time, and all teachers were too preoccupied with their own schedule no one was willing to substitute. Who would want to? We're the worst class, after all. I mean, how would you feel when you're in front of the class trying to teach and everyone is ignoring you, making noise and chaos right in front you and yet they're still ignoring you?

The next day, just this Friday where we were holding the annual Spiritual Retreat in our school, I saw my English teacher looking fine. I ran to her and hugged her (yeah, I actually did that) and asked her if she was alright. She smiled to me and said that she was fine now, and the reason of her absence the day before was because she was sick. And I think that was our fault. I was really glad that she was okay and smiling, because, good lord, the woman had went through a lot of things she feels like a friend. No need to add ourselves to her causes of her headaches and troubles.

Being a teacher is really hard.

But after incidentally coming across songs and blog posts (specifically this one) about school and teachers, I feel like I wanted to be one. You know, experience what they feel. There's also this saying that if you're a teacher, you can't be rich. Oh hey, that sounds like a challenge!

Being a teacher won't have the published-at-a-really-young-age charm that I really wanted to have, but my favorite author was once a teacher! :) It's good to be in the company of children when you're writing books about kids doing adventures (except I noticed how many of my protagonists are around eighteen or nineteen years old, basically college age, and they're venture more on a worldly quest of...politics). You can learn from them a lot!

And also, for some reason I wanted to feel their pain. To me (and I know most of you will agree to this because it's a universal fact that everyone is aware of) , pain is experience. And I need all the experience to write my stories. Because in all stories you tell, there's a part of you in there. There's a message buried deep the pages.

But you might also be thinking, hey, reading books makes you experience stuff, right? That's totally true! And it takes effort to finish a book, right? I mean, for the non-book readers, finishing an actual novel can be a chore, unless it's the book they really like. So finding the right book for them can take a while. It might be even painful! xD

So this is my rant piece for now. The only disbelieving thing about this whole statement is because I'm going around back to square one, which is: my dream job when I was a really small kid. Like, when I was four years old. Kinda endearing, but huh.

Writing this in the morning and I haven't gone to bed yet, so, ummm.

P.S. Nanowrimo just in a few days, guys!

NaNoWriMo in one month.

I don't feel really good. Didn't go to school today for... I don't know. I just don't feel like it.
That aside, one more month until NaNoWriMo. I'm totally going to do again this year, since last year I failed epically because I stopped writing my novel in... less than 6,000 words. So, this year, I might try something different.

Fan fiction.

Yes, please do dub me as  the worst writer in the world.

But I'm actually considering writing an Indigo Prophecy/Fahrenheit fan novelization, and when I'm done I wold revise it and put it up for everyone to read. I guess I'm taking this opportunity to try and practice and polish something, though I don't know what. My writing style? Or my sense of narration, how I timed events and dialogues and thoughts? I think it's a good way to practice writing, generally. I'm not yet ready for the publishing industry, and for some reason, I feel really safe on the self-publishing thing, you know?  I've been reading a lot of articles about the choices of how an author could publish, and, normally I could go to some major publishing company, because, whew, fame and fortune, it's hard to turn it down, right? But yeah, self- publishing is equals to much familiar ground.

Oh, that's just me, being anxious.

It was said that the game script is way twice longer than the game itself, but something had happened and the creators had to cut out a lot of things in the game, especially the last part of the game, which makes it looks rush But I've collected some sources (err, more like words of the creator, playthroughs, gameFAQs, trivia reading, etc..) that could provide me guidance.

Of course I'm not planning to publish it.

It's a good option, really, for NaNo. I have other options, but I still have a month to think about it all.

On the other hand, going slow and easy on the history project. The first draft might be done next year, when I keep going. And, if I'm really the luckiest teenager in the world, maybe by the last year of my high school I might sign a contract, and the book would be published.

Hey, a person can dream, right?

But as of now, not getting my hopes up anymore.

P.S. Mark of Athena tomorrow! I hope I get the book, and I will totally neglect exams.